I keep thinking that the Indiana balloon is going to pop and the reality of IU football will manifest itself.  But it just isn’t happening. Who the heck are these Hoosiers? We are living in an alternate universe right now. Miami is back in the spotlight of college football, dogs and cats are getting along, its mayhem.  And that completely defines our AHFP.

Thursday and Friday’s Games:
Fiesta Bowl: Miami 31 Ole Miss 27
Peach Bowl: Indiana 56 Oregon 22

A little commentary before I get to the details of our little pool. I was watching the Miami – Ole Miss game, which was a banger of a game – and Chris Fowler was blowing smoke up Carson Beck’s whohah. One of the things he said, and broadcasted it like it was a badge of honor, was the fact that this was the seventh, yes seventh year of Beck’s college football career. Does anybody else think that is pretty messed up? So now it is Freshman, Redshirt Freshman, Sophomore, Junior, Senior, Super Senior and Geriatric Senior?  He’s a few years away from social security for Pete’s sake. I know I am being a curmudgeon and an old school apologist – I recognize that.  I also know there was a COVID year nestled in there and a medical waiver in Beck’s case too but it is a bit much, don’t you think? My man should have his PhD by now. Anyway, the NCAA is the NCAA and there is not too much we can do about it. As for our friends from the Hoosier state, well, I just don’t know what to say. They have one more chance to make everything right by losing in the CFP National Championship Game.  The problem is, it just doesn’t look like that is going to happen…

So, here is deal.  Only one (1) participant had Miami getting this far: the precocious Jemma Kelley.  She rocketed up the table over the past few games squarely putting herself in the running for Grand Champion accolades.  She is also the only contestant to have Miami winning the CFP.  Needless to say, her fortunes blow (puns absolutely intended) with the Hurricanes. What is also funny is that the other four people who sit atop the table after January 9 have absolutely zero chance to win. They have had a GREAT go at it only to have no dogs left in the fight to put them over the top. It is a giant tease for these quad runners, all of whom just happen to be from the Chicagoland area which is a meaningless detail but a cool one nonetheless. So what the heck does that mean?  Well, it means that should Indiana complete this dream of a season, the dreams of five contestants who currently sit at 16 wins will launch to the top of the table only to have their fate decided by the roll of the tie breaker. Yes, five players prophetically picked Indiana to win and put themselves in a good enough position to take advantage of the three pointer at the buzzer to be in contention for all-time glory. Chris “I don’t do drugs anymore” Compisi, Devyn “Gimme Gophers or Gimme Death” Compisi, Peggy “Happy Dance” Schickler, the joint venture of John/Linda “I don’t pay attention to the games” Compisi, and I have to elaborate on the last contestant a little bit because it is too perfect.  Kelley “I’ll Write My Own Story” Totten is the last of the gang of six to be in the running for Grand Champion status.  But here’s the thing, and I cannot make this up, Kelley got her doctorate degree from Indiana so this makes so much sense.  What’s more, her doctorate is in Folklore (I did not know that was a thing) – and to make her story that much better, Kelley was a Nana Prize winner in the 2001-02 AHFP so her path to potential greatness started in the depths of ineptitude, she educated herself (doctorate in 2017), and now is possibly writing her own story that will be the folklore of the Totten Clan, and the AHFP for generations. This is too good. Like I said earlier, I can’t make this stuff up – though I certainly might try. 

Then there is the bottom of the table, and what a cast of characters there. Cellar dwelling never looked so amazing. We know exactly what is happening there – the tie breaker WILL need to break the tie between five contestants caught in the eighth circle of hell. The nuptialized duo of David ” Speak to No one” Kelley and Catherine “That San Francisco Treat” Kelley, Kevin “I’ll do anything to beat a Glennon” McCreary, Mark “Fried Dough” Kelley and Mike “I wear Wranglers” Levis all reflect glorious ignorance at picking football games.  There is a saying that goes “I’d rather be lucky than good” – well, that crew is neither but, in our benevolent magnanimity, we reward such badness. So, maybe that is lucky? 

As is the tradition, I supply the masses with the full grid going in to the last game so you can see how every one picked as well as the extraordinarily important tie breaking picks. I cannot recall such a potential logjam at the top and bottom of the table.  If Jemma gets her way, it is wonderfully moot, except for the second place decision.  Such joy we have had this year.  The mayhem has inspired my prose and fueled the engines for 12 months from now – yes, I already am thinking about next year! You guys deserve the best and I aim to deliver!  Sit tight for the next 10 days as we wait for all of the drama to crescendo. We love you all!  

If you haven’t paid yet, please get your $5 in ASAP: https://compisi.com/payment/  Thank you!

Sincerely,
The Chairman

Editor’s Note: Chris Compisi retired from the pharmaceutical industry this past summer, hence the reference.  Just being clear about things….